Thursday, November 8, 2007
The Disaster of November 8, 2007
On the morning of November 8, 2007, at 10:11 am in a dormitory of a residential hall, a great disaster occurred. As recalled by a resident, "[it] was the worst thing that could ever happen... Like ever... For real,".
The day started normal enough- chilly weather in the forecast, birds chirping about, college students pressing the snooze button for the third time. Yet, as the clock turned to that fateful 11th minute of the 10th hour of the 8th day of November, the catastrophe had turned the world upside down into pure chaos.
A half full bottle of red wine vinegar exploded its acidic content within the large drawer holding essential baking goods, tupperware, and a box of instant hot chocolate. Within the first minute, there was only confusion as there was little information disclosed about the severity of the disaster. It was only until the dormitory government issued enforcements from the packet of napkins that the true nature of the spill was realized.
Within the first five minutes, 10 napkin fatalities were reported. Most of the fatalities occurred in the save and rescue period when all the residents of the drawer were evacuated. Though only two residents were reported injured (the flour bag was stained with some vinegar while a tupperware lid was soaked), the napkin rescuers were hit most drastically by this red wine vinegar catastrophe. After the government had officially declared that the disaster had been cleaned and the enforcements retreated, the final victim count was at 25 napkins.
The reactions to the government response of the issue has been mixed. Many residents praised the swift action and the bravery displayed by the paper napkins. However, more residents say that the accident could have been prevented if the cap of the bottle was properly screwed. Others, questioned the organization of the drawer to begin with. An anonymous resident explained, "[H]ad the drawer been organized, [the red wine vinegar disaster] could have been cleaned efficiently and effectively". In spite of such complaints and curiosities, there has been little response. The government spokesperson has yet to officially issue a statement in regards to the government's handling of the recovery effort as of yet.
The future of the dormitory is still shaky as the effects of the red wine vinegar are still unknown. Dr. Googlethis of the University of Internet stated that the spill would benefit the overall sanitation of the drawer and the floor on which the vinegar spilled. "However," Dr. Googelthis assessed, "usually the white distilled vinegar brands have been used, so it is still very unknown whether the effects will be beneficial or not".
Whatever the outcome, all the residents hope to return to normalcy. All victims have been buried in the cemetery of the trash bin due to fears of contamination and further stinkage. While these napkin heroes will be soon forgotten, the stench of the vinegar certainly will not.
-The single20serving Blog Observer
Posted by single 20 serving at 9:44 AM